Archive | August, 2012

The GOP: Party of Fools

30 Aug

The Capitana is angry.

GOP delgates to black CNN camerawoman: They threw nuts at her and said, “This is how we feed the animals!” via The Huffington Post

GOP delegates to Puerto Rican representative: “Get them out! USA! Get her out! USA!” via

GOP politician Lindsay Graham: “We are not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term!” via CREDO Mobile

Ann Romney to Latinos: “YOU PEOPLE really know how to party!”

Um, are you pinche chingado kidding me?? via Cuéntame

I mean, are you pinche chingado KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!
I think these quotes stand for themselves, so I’ll make this post short. How amazing that the racism, ignorance and bigotry is just coming out of the woodwork.
It’s simple, really. Choose your future, America.

La Azote Negra :: The Black Whip

13 Aug

So before I was Capitana Phoenix, I was La Azote Negra. Glad I could find this thing. Believe it or not, I thought I deleted it after briefly entering law enforcement (I told you I was a badass!). Well, technically, I was a police officer candidate. I decided not to do it. It was like if The Wire wasn’t just real, but a chocolate-covered, candy-filled version of reality.

Guess I had an identity change, sometime after I went into the social media lost-password-can’t-recover-blog superhero magical laser beam kryptonite death ray device. Yep.
True story.

I made this in Microsoft paint. LOL

The Dawn Phenomenon

12 Aug

Today, I was invited by @MomWithDiabetes to post my story on The Diabetic You. So I did. Battling highs and lows all night, 5:00 in the morning seemed a good a time as any.


As a militantly proud vegetarian of two years, I got a summer cold right before my senior year in high school. I thought it was due to malnourishment, so desperate to feel better, I gave up my cherished diet and scarfed up meat. And cheese. And everything else I could get my hands on.

Continue reading

Bienvenidos to my blog, chy’all.

11 Aug

Whoa. Happy to see ya. Come one come all to hear me rant, rave, and otherwise make a fool of myself and ruin all chances for running for president. Oh, who am I kidding, I don’t have a chance. Unless you count a tiny island I plan on owning in the future as my own little country to be president of, and by tiny island I really mean a double-wide.

There’s nothing wrong with being proud trailer trash, you gosh darn prejudicin’ fool. Hater.

Here’s the inaugural post, the first video blog in a series on being a type 1 diabetic.

In case you’ve been living under a rock, aka don’t have television or a computer and otherwise live in a cavernous, damp little hole (do get out now and then, will you?), diabetes is a big problem. For me, it’s a big pain in my a$$ and, of course, fingertips.

But now there’s some big hopes and expectations and some equally large-looming questions about a possible cure from The Faustman Lab, and why some diabetes research fundraising organizations, namely the JDRF, are getting in the way.

What’s really going on here, and more importantly, what’s your take on this incredible development?

Check out my video blog, comment, and share.


-Evin Phoenix